How to lose weight!

 All you need to do is not eat so much and exercise.  Oohhhhhh!  That's ALL.  Great.  Ok.  Sounds easy enough.  Well if it is truly that easy, why am I fat?       

What happens when food is on my mind all the time? What will I do with all the feelings and problems food helps me to forget..at least for a moment.

Do the people who nonchalantly tell you to drop the donut or pass on the pizza know that food for me is more than just something that keeps my body alive?  That in a twisted way, food is love.  It is my drug.  Telling me to "just eat less" is like telling an alcoholic to drink less, or a pack a day smoker to only smoke 2 cigarettes a day. Yes.  In my opinion,

food is my addiction.  It's my drug of choice.  It's something to look forward to after a stressful day.  Planning meals and snacks is a high for me. 

So there.  There you have it.  As the numbers on the scale continue to get smaller and my body keeps shrinking, I remember that my struggle with food won't melt away like the fat on my body.  And at any time my addiction could take over and derail my progress.  When people comment on my physical appearance I stay humble.  I know all my progress could be stopped.  Black and white.  Perfectly staying on my diet plan (weight watchers) or becoming lost in a pile of food.  There is no middle.  I have problems with gray areas when it comes to managing my weight. 

Black and white. 

So with this realization the "just stop eating" is not that simple for me and many others.  So I take small baby steps each day deal with my emotions.  Not stuff them down with food.  I will stay humble as the compliments roll in, knowing that my drug of choice will be staring at me as I open the refrigerator or pantry.   And although I would like to punch the people who tell me to exercise more and eat less, I realize the linear and narrow minded statements are to help, not hurt.  I smile, eat my apple while staring at my children eating pizza.  And at that moment I thank God for my apple and my strength in that moment.  And as I walk away, I pray for the same strength and guidance on this very, very difficult journey.  My body is getting smaller, but my feelings, problems and obstacles remain the same...so I take one moment at a time and CELEBRATE the positive.  It will all be ok!